Moron Alert!

December 12, 2024

According to an online dictionary, the word "moron" can mean "a person who is notably stupid or lacking in good judgment" or "a person of borderline intelligence having an intelligence quotient of 50 to 69". Apparently the second of these is no longer used because it might be offensive, but more on that later.

There is evidence of morons amongst us clearly visible on the roads around Oberon. It's the tyre marks left by people who do burnouts on public roads.

Photos taken on Sewells Creek Road. There are more examples on O'Connell Road.

The clowns driving these cars are probably under the misapprehension that what they are doing is something skillful and shows their driving ability. The second of these is true, because it shows that they have little or no driving ability at all. Anyone can smoke the tyres on a powerful car, but then having the car wander all over the place shows that the driver has no real control at all. Traction control (electronic control of wheelspin) is prohibited in Formula One cars, but those cars manage to leave the start in a straight line with only a couple of rotations of the wheels.

In a bit of irony, some of those photos were taken at the intersection of Sewells Creek Road and Roberts Road. The latter is used in car rallies to get the cars into and out of rallies in the forest, and the regulations for the events contain the following rules:

3.1.8 NO SPIN STARTS

• 3.1.8.1 As part of our agreement with Forestry Corporation, and in the interests of road damage and erosion control, a NO SPIN START will be used at the start of all competitive stages.
• 3.1.8.2 A zone will be defined for drivers to adhere to. Wheel SLIP is permitted but wheel SPIN is prohibited.
• 3.1.8.3 The start control Official will be the sole Judge of Fact. Penalties apply for any breach/s.

"Wheel slip" means less than one complete revolution of the driving wheels.

The "no spin" area can range up to 15-20 metres from the starting point of the stage. And what happens if a diver breaks the rules?

• Breach of the No Spin start:
  • 1) 1st offence = official warning
  • 2) subsequent offence/s = Subject to a 30 second time penalty per offence or exclusion penalty, at the discretion of the Event Director

In a rally where timing is to the fraction of a second, a 30 second penalty can totally eliminate any chance of class or outright victory. 60 seconds of penalties means a top team might as well pack up and go home.

But rally cars are little sedans, not cars with great big V8 engines, aren't they? The Mitsubishi Lancer EVO9 weighs 1,400 kilograms and the engine in road going trim produces 273 kilowatts of power. A fully prepared rally car has more power. At its peak, the Holden LS1 V8 developed 245 kilowatts.

So here's a challenge to the heroes who leave black marks all over roads - take your powerful car into a pine forest and accelerate as fast as you can from a standing start without spinning the wheels or having the car move away from a straight line. Can't do it? I didn't think so.

Are these morons offended by being called "morons"? Too bad if they are. Does their driving style reflect low intelligence? Well, there's that old cliché about caps that fit.

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